July 23 2013. My last day of treatment, radiation specifically. This morning I was overjoyed. No more chemo, no more lumbar punctures, no more pills. Just time for healing. Time and healing that I need desperately in so many different ways.
I got a wonderful card from the staff at the radiation treatment center. One of the technicians wrote, “enjoy everyday,” and it really resonated in me. Something I thought about all day today.
The day before I went to see my oncologist for a check up. She told me I was officially in remission, it didn’t really hit me until today. My oncologist and my nurses there are amazing people, who really care for their patients. They gave me hugs and congratulated me when I left and I could see and feel the happiness in their eyes. I will never forget them or that moment.
While at the oncologist I saw some friends whom I went through treatment with. They had started before me, but I managed to finish my treatment before them. We talked and I told them about my progress. I could tell they were happy for me but at the same time, I could see in their eyes the desperate longing to be done as well. I felt very guilty for being done, for being healthy. I wish there were something I could do for them. I can only imagine that it’s like going to war and having the good fortune of being sent home, while your buddies are still fighting the good fight.
Even though we all went through similar hardships I still didn’t know what to say. Our cancers are different, the way our bodies handle the medication is different. You can’t just tell someone that they’ll be ok. All you can do is pray and have faith that things will be alright. Fortunately or unfortunately things will be as they should and are meant to be.
I should be celebrating, I should enjoy everyday, I am thankful and I am blessed, but somehow I just feel lucky.